40-Day Yoga Journey

Here’s to the start of my yoga journey. Are you a believer in everything happens for a reason and happens at the right time? I admit sometimes at the moment, usually, when it’s going against me, I do not. Then inevitably once I see the full truth, I realize that the universe knows what it’s doing…most of the time. After being on this spiritual enlightenment journey for a better part of a year. I now realize that when I started, I wasn’t fully ready for that shift. I felt like I was trying to mold myself into something that wasn’t yet fully thought out. But now things are appearing in my life that are truly resonating with me and I find ease in the changes.

What is Baptiste yoga?

As if the universe knew what I needed, my local yoga studio popped up in my inbox with a 40-days to a personal revolution workshop. I pondered, debated and finally pushed myself out of my comfort zone and signed up. Old me would have thought about it for days or weeks and never really moved forward, just loving the idea of it, so this was already a huge step. Sharing our shortcomings and inner turmoil in front of a group of strangers definitely stirs up the anxiety. But how can we truly grow if we are not pushed into something uncomfortable? How do we really know what we are capable of? I realized that I needed someone to MAKE me open up and explore myself, and hold me accountable to keep growing.

The core of the class follows Baptiste Yoga methods and the steps are outlined in Baron Baptiste’s book. At first, I was unsure if this was for me but the more I read it is for everyone, regardless of your belief system or your preferred method of Yoga. Did you know there are 8 major types of yoga? Mind blown! Just in the beginning weeks I already had such a mental shift. In the way I interacted with my family, the way I REACTED to situations and I finally feel like I am starting to find myself, mentally, spiritually, wholly.

Inner Reflection on my 40-day journey

One thing that has really stuck with me from this course is ‘know the difference between thinking and being lost in your thoughts”. I think this hits home for those of us who deal with anxiety, we’re constantly lost in our thoughts. Mediation is one of the practices that they have you introduce, admittedly I assumed this was a way of making yourself not think anything at all, finding a way to become an empty shell. I, of course, thought “you’re nuts”, trying to push out thoughts will only make my anxiety worse, no thank you! BUT of course, after practicing twice a day for a while I have learned this is not the case.

The goal is to not only find stillness physically but to learn how to acknowledge any thoughts that pop in and then quickly let them go. They compare it to a stream flowing by, send your thoughts down that stream, and come back to your breath. This will become easier over time and I have found it really helps in dealing with anxiety. You learn to not let your thoughts engulf you and take hold over everything else. Acknowledge what you are feeling or thinking in a time of panic and try to let it pass by. I know, I know easier said than done but over time it will become easier, right?

Buddha’s Journey

 There is a reading in week two about Buddha’s journey to find enlightenment. The gist of the story is that he decided one day that he was just going to leave without telling anyone and go off into the mountains seeking truth and an inner transformation. He had to leave everyone to go find this, his kingdom, parents, wife, and kids. He was MIA for 12 YEARS! As you can imagine when he returned his family was not the least bit happy, can’t blame them. He calmly took in everyone’s grievances, knowing he deserved it. He did come back more enlightened but at the end of it, he realized that he didn’t need to “escape” to find this state of enlightenment and a new version of himself.

The essence of this story, at least to me, resonated deeply. In trying to find this “next level” of myself we’ll call it I found myself feeling like I had to go away to create this. In reading this story I now realize that I am feeling this way because I’m afraid, afraid of being judged, embarrassed, or embarrassing my family, I guess. Now as I think about this I’m laughing at my thoughts and ideas because it is so ridiculous once you say it out loud.

So, it’s easier to go away or seclude myself, a way of hiding instead of being vulnerable. I realize that I have to get to a point where I believe enough in myself and the love my family has for me. That I can and should open up to them, and allow them to witness and walk with me through this experience and the new path I am starting to walk down.

What is a Fruit Cleanse?

Between weeks two and week four, I was really feeling great about the progress I had been making. But at the start of week five, for whatever reason, I felt stuck and not making any progress. Week four is where you introduce a three-day fruit cleanse, well I made it one day. I think at this moment I felt like I was at the failure point and wanted to start this whole thing over. After our weekly meeting on week five, I realized that I wanted to run away, and start over because it was getting hard and my discipline was dwindling. I felt like there was no way to get myself back on track.

After soaking in the discussion during class, I started to see the light again. I had to keep reminding myself that this is a new way of living and thinking, it isn’t going to change overnight or in a few short weeks. So, I took the time to acknowledge where I was and that tomorrow is a new day to get right back into it and keep moving forward. I found it very fitting that week five was based on centering, hi universe 👋 I see you sending the signs, I needed to stay centered in this journey and in myself. Feeling like I should be in a much more enlightened place was causing me to not stay in the moment.

Week 6 of The Yoga Practice

As week six started this ‘rock’ I had created was still very much relevant, I was entering a state of anger and panic, feeling like I had so much more progress to make. Then a few days into the last week I realized that my notion of where I should be clouded the progress I did make. I was meditating, waking up early, and practicing, I was less reactive, eating healthier, and sleeping better. As I listed what has changed my view on myself and my progress turned more positive and loving. As if the universe knew yet again what I needed, one of the last readings talked about how triumph happens in the small things.

If we set our sights on this grandiose notion we have created for ourselves, about ourselves, we lose focus and the importance of all the small steps we have made along the way. I realized I have to stop giving myself due dates, you can’t perfectly plan out a personal revolution. It takes time, discipline, and most of all empathy toward yourself. This is the longest I have stayed committed to inner enlightenment, my practice, and the overall nurturing of my soul. So, I know a better version of myself is there to stay and will be constantly evolving. Change is not easy but staying the course shows the drive and desire to keep reaching towards this goal. 

How yoga helped manage my anxiety

I think having anxiety, being judged and fear of rejection is par for the course and something that gets amplified daily. Even if we haven’t received this reaction it’s already happened in our mind and that’s enough for us. But I know I don’t want this to take over my life. I don’t want to miss out on great opportunities and life-changing experiences, not only for me but for my family.

So, it’s time to open up and show all of me. Being judged by strangers seems easier than being judged by your family oddly enough. So, I challenge each one of us to try and share something you have kept hidden, or not fully opened up about with someone you love. Something you’re passionate about, curious about, or an inner demon you’re fighting. Yes, it will be uncomfortable but it may turn out even better than you have imagined. No, I know it will turn out much better than what you have imagined. It will also be so freeing to finally be able to share that part of you.

The end of my 40-day yoga journey

My journey through this experience doesn’t end at 40 days, it’s a lifelong journey. If you are looking for something to break the cycle, I really do suggest taking a peek at this book. It is designed so everything you need can be done in the comfort of your own home. But I will say you have to respect the process and be READY to fully commit. Who knows you may find a different, better version of yourself coming to light at the end of 40 days? So, with all that said I hope each one of you finds the inner peace you are looking for today. Thank you for taking the time to read this. Now, go get lost in those wild dreams and be true to yourself. Until next time…namaste.

If you’re not ready for in-person settings here are some awesome yoga YouTubers.

Wishing you love, light and inner peace babes ✌🌈✨💜

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